Q. You just talked about your suspension. Most of them were talking about how they wanted to see you get right as a person, worry about the player later. All of them were invested in making sure you got the type of help you needed. How would you describe the type of help you've accepted to be a better person?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I think it's just about, number one, knowing what it is. I think so many people throw around the word help, so what does that actually mean. For me, I think number one was just sitting down with myself and figuring out what that means.
When you talk therapy and all these things, therapy only goes as far as you take it. When you sit in a therapy session, therapists probably talk 10, 15 percent of the time, and you talk the other 85 or 90, so then what are you talking about?
I think for me, knowing that and understanding that and then going into the process, it's first important to identify what exactly that is. I think so many people can have their thoughts on what that means.
But again, if it's not something that you're up to, if it's not something that you believe, then you're wasting your time.
I think one of the best things to happen to me during the process, as soon as I got on the phone for our first initial, he's like, so what's this about. I see all the things in the news, I see all the things everyone is saying. How do you feel and what are you thinking?
Again, if you're here just to satisfy some obligation or satisfy some public opinion, you're wasting my time and yours, and that was the most important thing for me that I could hear because that wasn't why I was there, and yet one would think so.
I think that was a very important part of me starting what has been the last four weeks or so for me.
Q. How much basketball were you able to play or not play?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I took some time away from everything. I don't think I touched a ball for the first 10 days because it was the least important thing to me.
I needed a break just from everything. One of the best things in the world for me was not waking up the next day like, all right, I've got to go get this workout in, I've got to go get a lift in, I've got to go do this. It was wonderful waking up, like nope, I have an eight-month-old, I have a three-year-old, seven-year-old, a nine-year-old. It was wonderful waking up to them and being home when they wake up and indulging in that process.
So I didn't touch a basketball for the first 10 days, and then I started working again. Then it felt good to get back in the gym. After I sat with some of my thoughts, and I think in going back after 10 days, it was refreshing to go get a workout in. But it didn't feel like a routine. It didn't feel like I was jumping right back into the revolving door, if you will, just starting back spinning. I was like, no, I'm going to go here today and I'm going to get some shots up. I'm going to go here today, and I just really want to get my body moving and get a sweat. It wasn't something routine or with some goal of getting back to the court. It was simply just, nope, this is what I feel like I should go do today or this is what I want to go do today.
Like I said, that was therapeutic in itself. You never realize how stressful this job is until you no longer have that stress, and then it's like, whoa, and I think for me, going through my weeks, and I was on one of my calls with the league, with the PA and Rich and Rick and Mike, and then they start talking about, all right, returning, and my body just immediately tensed up, and I was like, whoa, that was interesting to me. To just hear the word return to play and tense up immediately, it was just kind of a reminder of like, okay, you're going to start discussing the return now, that's great. But you can't fall right back into just like the tense place.
I think that was such a great moment for me to have because the last thing I would want us to come back and have that moment when I'm going on the court. So to have that moment the first time I heard the word "return," I thought was also a step for me in the right direction because wow, you're able to process that right away, like as opposed to living through it and then it's like figuring it out after the fact.
Q. All that being said, you are returning to a 17-19 team that pretty clearly needs you. How close do you feel, and how urgent does this situation feel from just a professional --
DRAYMOND GREEN: It's urgent from a professional standpoint because I wasn't hurt. At least my body wasn't hurt. My mind was hurting. My feelings was hurt. But it wasn't like some injury forced me off the court. It's very urgent because I've cost my team enough. I've cost this organization enough. And so it's not a team for me to just come back and be like, all right, I'm going to take my time when I can. I'm like, all right, you caused this yourself. You don't get the grace.
Although I'm very appreciative of the performance staff putting a plan to ramp up. If it was up to me, I would love to come back and play right now. Realty is, it's probably not the best day for me or best from an organizational standpoint, and what that looks like moving forward in the risk of injury on all those things, but there's a human component of this as well, and you know, you sit home and you watch these games and as a competitor you want to help. And so then returning, it's funny, Coach said welcome back and bp start clapping and everybody start clapping. I'm like, well I'm not sure I deserve a round of applause, but I'll take it. And that, like, half-joking but you don't just get grace and take my time and get back when I can. Like I'm coming back from a suspension, not an injury, and so there's a huge sense of urgency and I pushed it like crazy today and I'm going to push it like crazy every day until I can get back on the floor because No. 1, I think it's also important for these guys to know and understand that, you know, I'm not approaching this like I'm going to just take my time and get back when I can. I'm going to do all that I can to meet the requirements that I have to meet with our performance group in order to get back on the court and I'm trying to do that as fast as I can. Whatever work that requires, that's what I'll do.
Q. Do you believe you've acquired some skills with the work you've been doing to handle yourself when emotions run sky high and it's a tense moment on the court so that you don't cross a line or whatever the referees think is crossing a line, whatever it is, how do you control those emotions the next time, and are you finding some ways and some techniques to do so?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I think No. 1, it's about, first off, understanding your emotions. Understanding those moments. My goal is not to come back and worry about crossing the line because I still have to come back and play the game the way I know how to play the game and be the best me that I can be for my team to help get my team a chance to win.
I think, you know, as far as not crossing the line with a referee, yes, that's a big point of emphasis for me, and knowing and understanding where that line is. But I didn't make it to this point worried about touching the line. I didn't help this team and this organization become what we have become by worrying about crossing the line.
And so, you know, out throughout my time, work through all these thoughts, right. If you would have talked to me two and a half weeks ago, I'm not crossing the line, I'm not doing this, I'm not doing that.
You know, but as you can continue to do work and put the work in and as time go by, for me, it's about developing a practice. You know, developing a routine. And I think one of the best things about that is it hasn't just been on me to develop that. I've had support from this organization, support from the league in developing what those things look like, and I'm -- that's what I plan to do. I'm not -- I'm not going to sit here and tell you, yes, I know everything, because you don't know what you're doing until you're in a moment. But I think going into anything, you can only best prepare yourself for what moments you may face, and then you'll be put to the test. And I'm not, you know, my goal isn't to try to say, oh man, I'm going to do this and I'm going to do that and this is how it's going to look. Like you don't know that until -- I'll be sitting here lying to you if I said this is how it's going to look and this is the process. Like that's not real. But what is real is preparing yourself ask doing a lot of self-work so that when you are in these moments, you know where you can turn to. You know, it's just like anything else. If I catch the ball on the wing, in that moment, I prepare myself to shoot that ball, right. It's no different. You do the work. And then when those moments present themselves, you lean on your preparation.
Q. You said in the past, a certain mindset has gotten you to this point, from when you were a second round pick. What's the journey been like, knowing that that's been your mindset and finding out that's not sustainable at this point in your life and then trying to figure out another way in real time?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I don't think it's not sustainable. You know, making it to this point if it wasn't sustainable.
But let's face it. Like, antics. Antics is something that got me here. And so when I look back on these situations, it's like, can you remove the antics. I'm very confident I can remove the antics and I'm very confident if I do remove the antics, no one is worried about how I play the game of basketball. You know, nobody is worried about how I carry myself in the game of basketball, but it's the antics. So that's my focus. It's not on changing who I am completely. Like you don't change the spots on a leopard. Like it's just not going to happen and I'm not going to try to set some unrealistic expectation of, like, who is this person going to be. Like it's not real, and that's not sustainable. I've always said before, I know how to be me a lot better than I can be anyone else. But then saying that, can I accept the fact that my antics has been over the top? Of course. Can I remove those? Am I capable of removing those? Of course. And I think without that, then I don't think there's much of an issue. But it's the antics that can go and I made a commitment to do things to make sure that those things don't creep in.
Q. Throughout those times, the front office, Steve Kerr they have all stuck by you, publically and even privately. In a way that other organizations have not stood by other players. What do you think that says about your relationship with this team and this front office and this organization?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I think No. 1, as I said before in my Podcast, like, they know me. They know me, the person, not just the basketball player. Their support is not something that I take for granted. I think that I've had my shortcomings and my failures and where I've fallen extremely short of holding my end of the bargain.
But I am also a firm believer in reciprocity, and I think to Steph, to them, whoever, Coach, front office, this organization, I give my all to, as a person, as a basketball player, in these personal relationships, I think I reciprocate that.
Now, I've had issues that I can admit haven't been the best, and they have had to stick with me through, and I'm very appreciative of that. I don't take that for granted one bit. But I can only show that appreciation through my play and through as I continue to move forward and show the growth that I've experienced over the last few weeks which is just the beginning. Poor par like I said, I'm not going to come up here and be like, oh, man, it's been three and a half weeks, here we go. Like, that's not real.
But, you know, I think what I know over these three and a half weeks I have grown some and started a path to further grow, and dedicated myself to that path and so ultimately, you just want the opportunity to show them that. And I think that's the best way I can sit here and say thank you a million times until I'm blue in the face; or, in which, you know, I do think that ultimately what shows that appreciation is my growth moving forward, and that's what I plan on doing.
Q. We've had a couple of these press conferences with you right after an incident or after your time away, and you're always clear like when you want to apologize and when you don't want to apologize.
After the league decides, hey, this is a definite suspension and it's not a normal, like, clear-cut suspension, how do you -- how was it to buy in to that indefinite suspension and the steps that you did have to take we were just talking about therapy and really self-reflection, was it an easy thing for you to open yourself up to or did it take some time?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I think it was a very easy thing for me to open myself up to from a personal standpoint. Because like I said, I needed the time. I needed to regather myself, to re-center myself, to recalibrate, to take a step back. It's hard to see things when you're just in -- you know, in like every day, you're in this thing. It's hard to sometimes see what's necessary to see.
And so from that standpoint, it was very easy to accept. Fortunately and unfortunately, I play a team sport. So when you look at what that does to the team, that's a very tough thing to accept because ultimately, you're letting so many people down by the way, it's not just my teammates. It's a lot of people's jobs riding on the success we have as players, and so most of those people, all of those people don't make the money we make, and so it's even more dire, right.
So I think for me to let all of those people down, obviously my teammates, that goes without saying, the coaching staff, but it goes so far beyond that. Like the reality is, if Steve was fired today, he'll be fine. Like if I was cut today, I'll be fine.
But like that's not the case for all the people that pour into us so that you can then see that product on the floor at 7:00 PM on a given night Wednesday night -- oh, not this Wednesday.
You know, there's so many people livelihood's riding on that. And I know I am a key to that success.
So when you sit back, it's like, yeah, you do need the time. But I don't lose sight of the people you're screwing along the way, you know, and so I think accepting what the league handed down was the easy part, you know, from a personal standpoint.
But from a team standpoint, from an organizational standpoint, I care about people. And so just to know the people I'm screwing along the way, that -- that part sucks.
And by the way, that feeling didn't go away. Like that's currently still here. And so the only way that I can be better and make that -- and make that right is to be better moving forward.
Q. Did you have those thoughts, though? Maybe just three weeks before the suspension, you were suspended for five games. Was there a similar thought process, like I'm screwing overall these people for that, or was it because the League was like, hey, we need you to have that time of dedicated reflection?
DRAYMOND GREEN: No, I didn't quite that those thoughts during the five-game suspension and I also don't think it was because the League was like, hey, you need time to reflect. Because I think, you know, it's not necessarily a time thing. But when it isn't definite, you don't know what that means, either. So that could be like who knows what. It's indefinite.
So like I said before, I think having the time allows you to process those thoughts, and I'm also appreciative to the league for the indefinite suspension. You know why? Because there was no goal to return. There was no, all right, I'm not going to work and get through these five games, so as soon as the five games is up, I'm back.
You know, a part of the indefinite and returning was being in a better space. And so to allow my mind to process what it looks like get into a better space, I think you're then able to sit with those thoughts. But to like sit for five games, I'm targeting a return date.
There was no target until two days before it was announced to you all that the ban would be lifted. There was no target the entire time. I think when there is no target like that, it allowed me to process all these things. It allowed me to not have to stress and plan working towards a return. It allowed me to come to some realizations that I wanted and needed to come to.
So I think that's more so for me than anything.
Q. Your transparency throughout this entire process that is been unprecedented. We have not really seen this from any athlete. In all the things that you've said, you could look at your message and say, it could be to the youth in Saginaw. It could be to your son one day. It could be to the fans, to your team. Would you look at the way you've allowed us to get the peek behind the curtain as you mentioned, what's inspiring that? What relationships are you thinking about when you allow us into this process for you?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I think several. No. 1 is my family, my friends, those close to me. You know, in going through this, like you realize how many people is affected, like just through the whole process. And so I think that's a big deal. I have children and you want to make sure they see the right thing.
And because parents and it's all built and based on trial and error, some mixture of what my parents showed me that I thought was great, and what I didn't necessarily think was so great, I want to try to do this, right. Like so there's no guide, no hook. Maybe there are some hooks out there but I ain't never read one. Because even if it taught me something about my nine-year-old, my three-year-old is totally different.
And understanding there is no guide, there is no hook, I also understand that they have been made or -- yeah, they have been put in a position to have to deal with some things as well. And so if you put someone in position to have to deal with things, and it's not are just my kids, but as far as my kids do go, if you let them see you f-up, then you've got to let them see you make it right. You've got to let them see your growth. You've got to let them see you take ownership. Can't just run and hide. And although throughout my time, I wanted to run and hide, as I told you, I considered retiring. Like that's running and hiding. Regardless of what drive those feelings that would be in that situation, running and hiding, because guess what, you're not really leaving on your terms. You're running from something.
So I think then you start talking about youth and not youth. Adults struggle with accountability. I do sometimes. Maybe y'all do but I struggle with accountability sometimes.
And I've never been a "me" guy. Like it's not all about me. So in a situation like this, can I help someone else grow? If I help one person grow, incredible. Great. Because that leads us all to a better place.
If I can help one person grow from my shortcomings, my failures, you want people to love when you're doing something great, right. Like you want people to go crazy when you're doing something great and you want to feel that love. Like, don't run from it when it ain't so great.
My goal is that a lot of people can learn from it and yeah, my goal is most importantly is to grow, and I think if I can show growth in a position -- like there's a responsibility that comes with the positions that we're in, and I've always been one to say like, that's your business. It ain't really my business. But the reality is, there is a responsibility, and to whom much is given, much is required.
So I think allowing the world to see that there's growth out there for everyone, and your growth may not be the growth that I need but it's all relative. And sliding the curtain back and letting everybody take a peek, I let everybody take a peek when it wasn't right. So on full display in front of the world. Don't try to hide now. Like there's a stage for you to allow people to see growth, and because I'm so dedicated to growing, I don't mind you taking a peek because I know ultimately what I want the result to be in the end, and I'll probably mess up along the way and that's all a part of growing. There's no limit in your path to growing. If you find a straight line to anything, come at me as fast as you can tear it back down, that's just not the reality.
So I've always been quite an open book. Why start running and hiding now?
Q. You said, "I've cost my team enough." You played with Steph your whole career. One of the greatest players the NBA has ever seen. How concerned are you that you may have cost him some of these moments of his prime?
DRAYMOND GREEN: I don't necessarily look at it -- I don't necessarily look at it as costing him some moments of his prime because we're all in this together, right. Like one of us fail, we are all failing. It's a team sport. I think for me personally, I care more about the person, how am I affecting the person. I can care less about a prime if I'm honest because I don't see his prime coming to an end no time soon.
But how are you affecting the person that care about you, you know. I spoke about the Stephen A. incident on my Podcast. Then that's something he got to live with, you know. Forcing him to carry more weight than he would necessarily have to carry, what effect does that have on him; even more so from a basketball standpoint. Like it matters more to me how I affect the person.
Now, as far as this team goes, like definitely affected this team in a negative way. But it's not -- I mean, it could be repaired. Like we're still what 36 games into an 82-game season. There's a chance to make it right, and that's my goal and that's my focus. I think in doing that, you know, it helps Steph. It helps all of us. But you know, I don't -- I don't necessarily look at it from a daily basis of like, oh, it affected his prime. No, I affected the person. That includes the person and that includes the prime and all those things, but to single out one party actually think is selfish of me to be like, oh, I'm affecting him this way. No, how are you affecting his mind also? How are awe infecting how he show up to work and what that looks like on a daily basis? Like, there's so much more to this game because we are actual human beings playing this game, and I think that gets lost. That gets lost so often off like, that's a real person that's dealing with these things and these things can be heavy. I'm more so worried about how I affected the person. You know, maybe I'm wrong for looking at it that way and not thinking about it from how I affected his prime but I still worry more about how I'm affecting the overall person than just one specific thing.
Q. Two-part thing, first of all, to be clear, you do not have a return date as of yet?
DRAYMOND GREEN: No. Not yet. But I'm pushing it to make that as soon as possible. As soon as I get the go, I know our performance staff have put a plan together. As soon as I get the go, I'll be ready to go.
But that goal is also Coach Kerr. Like I said before, you don't just get to walk back in when you want to walk in.
That goal is also Steph. That goal is the guys in the locker room. Like I don't -- like the league was one thing. Like it's so much bigger than that. Like I owe a lot to these guys. And so the goal is also on them. It's not just up to me. I don't -- I don't necessarily view it that way.
When I get the go from our staff, our performance staff, our coaching staff, our guys, like that's all a part of it. It's not just on me, and what is your conditioning level. I think I'm in pretty good condition. But it's so much more than that. You know, like reintegrating yourself into the team. I didn't see these guys for the whole time, and that was very intentional, like that's all a part of it.
Q. And lastly, what did you miss the most during your time away, and what did it I feel like driving up to the arena, walking in, coming back to work?
DRAYMOND GREEN: What you miss the most, you know, I city and watch our games. And what you miss the most is just being able to be there for the guys. Like man, it's hard to win NBA games. I think we've had times where we've made it look easy. It's hard as hell to win an NBA game.
So when you see guys struggling, you just want to help. But in the same breath, I wasn't sitting there like, oh, I need to get back. I can change this. Like that was a whole -- that was the whole point of like not being here. I didn't think guys needed to hear my voice. But yet if I see something, I'm going to try to help, and I just thought that was wrong. Like, especially with no return date. Just to be around the guys and like working out and like open-endedly practicing, like I didn't think that was right. I didn't think it was right for them to even have uncertainty. It's almost like you're out of sight, you're out of mind. It don't quite always happen that way in our sport because it's a win or lose sport, and so when the wins are piling up, everybody is great. When you're losing, everything feels like it's falling apart because that's what it's all based off of, and so I just didn't think that they should be susceptible to more than I had already kind of made them have to face, and seeing me every day was one of those things.
I would just say being with the guys, the camaraderie. It's unfortunate that we haven't had the season that we have all thought we would be having up until this point because it's a great group of guys that really enjoy being around each other. It has not always been the case. And so I think I miss that more than anything. But I wasn't just like missing place because playing wasn't on my mind. Like if playing was on my mind, then I think I would have been doing myself a disservice and everybody around me a disservice. My focus was my path, my growth, the things that I want to do, my family and making sure that whenever that day came, if it did come that I return to this team that I was in a better space and able to provide for them what I need to provide. And I think I'm in a great space. But just being able to help the guys.
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